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Fatwa Answer

Question ID: 1493 Category: Marriage and Divorce
Divorce Question

Assalam o alaikum . I have one child from the marriage who is 12 years old. The events that led up to me filing for divorce was that my ex -wife had left the house of marriage  in Feb 2018 without my consent with my ex in laws. The day she left I was physically attacked by my ex brother in law and false accusations of physical abuse were put on me in front of witnesses. I consulted with my father he said try to reconcile so I asked the uncle of the wife if he can help. Her uncle upon hearing everything then decided that I should pay her $2000 a month and also that there will be indefinite separation between the two of you  and that the two of you will not talk to each other and he said you can just come every two weeks to pick up your son for a day and then leave him back without saying anything and just keep paying your wife.. I did not agree to that . I  paid her money for son $2000 a month and then due to depression I lost my job so I cut down the amount to $1000 after an entire year of not hearing anything back from my ex- wife or my ex - in laws I asked my father again as to what should be my course of action he referred me to a religious scholar  . After reaching out to him my initial attempt  was to reconcile. Yes there were some disagreements that me and my ex wife had but I never physically or verbally abused her. So in order to attempt to reconcile I tried to get those answers but I failed and things being said were not going to do any good but do harm so I asked the religious scholar to help in getting a divorce settlement. Based on the income my child support per N.Y state law was calculated to about $1200 a month but I decided to pay $1500 as I thought it would be beneficial .my ex wife demanded alimony and I said I am already giving child support more than state law but she insisted and the religious scholar said that since you guys cannot come to an agreement I will decide if you give me permission me and her both gave him permission. The divorce was filed in Feb 2020 and issued in Feb 2021 she continues to live with her parents and siblings with my son. It really bothers me that the religious scholar has decided that on top of Child Support I have to pay my ex wife $500 dollar alimony as well .He also has decided that if I ever lose my job I will be required to disclose all my assets and show that I cannot support my child. He also decided that my brother will be responsible if I do not pay the money.  Now after one year I have to move on so I asked if we can re negotiate on the visitation and financial matters of my son I have no problem paying as long as it is just and I can afford. It seems as though they are persistent in going after me they said they will not talk to me until I provide my 2018 , 2019 , 2020 Tax returns.. So please I would like to know what is your take on all of the above and is there any fatwa I can get in terms of Alimony validity as well.

بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم

الجواب وباللہ التوفیق

In this case, the decisions made by the Shariah scholar, and your wife's uncle are illegal and exceed the limits of Shariah.

The sustenance of the wife is up to 'iddah’ and not after 'iddah'. Demanding maintenance after 'iddah’ is not permissible according to shari'ah.

However, you are responsible for the child's upbringing and expenses. 

In case of non-payment of alimony, shifting the responsibility over to your brother is also not valid according to 'Shariah'.

The amount given under the title of child support is also illegal.

The conditions imposed by your in-laws for meeting with your son, the condition of indefinite separation from the wife, and to demand copies of three years’ tax returns is not permissible.

It would be better for you to settle this issue directly with the Shari'ah Board or any Shari'ah department in your area.

فقط واللہ اعلم بالصواب