Assalam o alikum. I am a student with a golden past but a destroyed future. Everything was going well, i always toped the school, won competitions got selected to the most selective college. My family was happy and above all my connection with Allah was good. But suddenly everything went south. I got suspended from the college, i couldn't study, i also ran away from my house, always have a wish to die, although pray 5 times a day but dont feel the connection with Allah i had before, always plan to read the quran but never touched it for a year, am addicted to pornography. I dont know how why this happened. The only thing i know is that some relatives grew jealous and My mother always feared them because they (the relative) have a background of aamils and peers and magic stuff. I also saw a video on YouTube of a mufti saying these conditions happen when you are under a jinn. I start my day with high hopes, to study, to work, to do something for the people the muslim ummah but end it in regret, wastage, sin. Ive always wanted to be a shaheed. Never done bad to anyone. Always had a pure heart. Why did this all happen to me? Now I am hopeless. My connection with Allah is destroyed. My future is destroyed. All i want to do now is kill myself. Although it is haram but still its better to do a single sin once and for all instead of a daily sin isnt it? I just want to die. Help me molana. Please help me. I have a family to feed and expectations to full fill. Help me.
بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
You should recite Surah Al-Fatihah, Ayat-ul-Kursi, Surah Quraysh, Kafrun, Ikhlas, Falaq, and Surah An-Nas seven times daily in the morning and evening and blow on yourself.
For forty days, recite “Istighfar” 313 times, Durood-e-Sharif 313 times,
Ya-Mughni Ya-Karim 1100 times and pray to Allah Almighty for His Forgiveness.
Refrain from occupying yourself on internet, spend time in preaching, stay in the company of scholars and good people, it will be useful In Shaa Allah.
فقط واللہ اعلم بالصواب