As Salaam Alaikum,
M married since 2009 have 4 children Alhmdulilha, recently I came to know about my husband's affair he is having affair and also read his messages with another women for sex it's just not one woman many different messages with different women for massages and sex , m sorry to use this word . He did not touch me since 3 years and whenever I go close to him he sleeps or argue or says sorry I have problem and when I confront him about his affairs and other women he just lied and got angry saying why did I touch his phone and if you want to leave you can go , I can't leave him because I lost my parents last year due to Covid and all siblings are busy with their families and I dnt even work so no othe financial support than him and also my children are very young my fourth child is just 3 year old and m 33 year old woman.. m praying tahajjud and everything but feeling very low no one to talk , he won't even talk to me or sit beside me it's not that m ugly alhmdulilha m very beautiful that's what ppl say infact he is not even good looking. Please help me out please, first I thought it's ok if he is not touching genuine men's problem I shouldn't force him but after all messages and pics I can't help myself but cry all the tym which is affecting my mental and physical health too please help me out , should I leave him or not if I get divorced there's no one to support and my kids love him , he is very good father help me pleaseee, I pray 5 tyms with tahajjud and Quran and fast as well every Monday and Thursday not because of this since I was 16 m practicing Muslim alhmdulilha please help mepleas
بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم
الجواب وباللہ التوفیق
It is strictly forbidden for a married man to associate with stranger women. If the husband is really having an affair, he should repent immediately and sincerely, and resolve to never have any contact with a stranger female in the future. Instead, he must focus on taking care of and fulfilling the rights of his wife.
It is narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw some people on the journey to “Me'raj” who had in front of them a cooking pot with “halal” and neat meat in it, that with halal and clean meat in a pot in front of them, but they are eating from the other pot, which is foul-smelling bad me.
Upon inquiry, it was said that these are the people who though having a wife, leave the halal way and fulfill their lusts in a haraam way with a foreign woman.
Therefore, every effort should be made by him to give up illicit relations, Islamic education should be started at home, and made it a habit to sit in and seek benefit from the company of religious scholars.
If it becomes difficult to live in this environment, and to live a chaste life becomes difficult, you can also ask for divorce or “khul’a”.
It is advisable to have trust in the Almighty Allah (SWT), be punctual in your daily prayers and supplications. But before taking further steps, first do “Istikhara”, and consult elders of the house before taking any action.
May the Almighty bless you with kindness and help you in your well-being.
فقط واللہ اعلم واتم