Assalamoalikum mufti sb,
Pursuant to conversation with you, here is some information.
Me and wife frequently had issues in past almost last 2.5 years of married life, in order to have another chance to reconcile I took her to a local Imam in mosque but instead of settling down the matters it got worse in shape of arguments, by looking at her same behavior I was not ready to reconcile and imam sb told us to forget past and don’t expect each other to change overnight, after the iftari I told her to go back and I will rethink on these matters but she said to decide right now, I came out of mosque to leave her to near car and she again started arguments but I tried to make her understand but she threw the bottle on ground that was in her hand and I noticed other namzi watching us and I tried to make her understand that we can discuss these things later but arguments went up, she asked me to get her to gas station to fill gas and give her map pic from gps and i said ok but then she started asking for demand of divorce and I replied ok I will file divorce in court tomorrow but she kept coming after me while I was moving towards my car on other side of parking, she was sometime asking me to sit in car and decide everything now and on other hand she was demanding divorce, once the situation got worse and she provoked me enough by saying u can go court tomorrow but give divorce by Islamic way right now, by that time my tolerance level was very low, all the past issues stress was on my mind like previously she involved cops, I gave her one divorce in last November after our issues but then reconciled within a month on promised and apologies from her she won’t do in future, she did court cases on me with cheap allegations and after her case got denied by court she took the divorce case also back, she and her parents have raised hands on me along with abusing in past many times, having been feeling insulted and hopeless that I brought her to mosque to fix issues but she didn’t agree on anything and she was looking the same person, no change, and there was also stress of all past issues happened in our life, I couldn’t resist when she were demanding divorce many times I said word of divorce three times, my situation while I said those words was like same if someone asks u do a thing if u have courage and u do it in response in anger to show ur strength, I was in extreme anger, I said words without consideration of afterwards consequences, I was just like feeling her an opposite person who is fighting with me, I felt I was just trying to get rid of situation, just to end now by saying words what she was asking me to pronounce, I didn’t know at that time the Masla that I just have 2 chances left to pronounce divorce as I availed one chance earlier back in November 2017 but after November at that time I thought if u reconcile then u again have 3 chances of divorce, secondly I didn’t know the Masla of 3 divorce of one sitting will be three, as far my intention was concern i brought her there to fix issues but after the situation got worse I said those words in anger, stress, to get rid of situation and in reaction of feeling being provoked to show courage..
And after uttering those words she said for riju (reconcile)as 3 means 1 but I was saying her go away now u r free now I did what u want, I was walking around as she was not letting me to sit in my car, I was extremely angry as mind was not working at that time I pushed her back to get to my car but her condition was getting bad and I took her to drink some juice, she looked like that she went into temporary calmness as in shock, by that time my state of mind was different and I was regretting on what I did, I started searching for triple divorce issue online and I came across Ahl hadees concept of 3 means 1 divorce so I said to her it’s 1 divorce and we lived together for 2 days but when we asked some mufti they said divorce took place and we can’t live together, we have 7 months old daughter that’s why I feel very sad whenever I see her, my wife consider it one divorce and want me to live with her but I am afraid if it’s 3 divorce then it will be sin by living together.
Please advise on the matter if all divorce took place or not.
الجواب وبالله التوفيق
You had made رجوعwith (returned to) your wife after giving her 1 طلاق(divorce) in 2017. After that you were left with authority of only 2 more طلاق(divorces). When later, on provocation of your wife, you gave 3طلاق(divorces) in anger then only 2 of those 3 طلاق(divorces) took effect and the 3rdone wasلغو(absurd). With these 2 طلاق(divorces) and the former 1طلاق(divorce) your wife became مطلقہ مغلظہ(Divorced) and thus حرام(Haraam). It is حرام(Haraam) to livetogether without حلالہ(Halaalah) The Mufti Saheb you enquired from earlier also advised you correctly.
This is your misunderstanding that after giving 1 طلاق(divorce) and making رجوع with (returning to) one’s wife a person again gets the authority to give 3 طلاق(divorces). Furthermore, these 3 طلاق(divorces) are not the 3 طلاق(divorces) of one sitting, these are only 2, and the 3rdone isبیکار(useless) as you had already used 1 طلاق(divorce) before. Therefore, it is also wrong to assume these 3 طلاق(divorces) to be 3 of one sitting, rather these 3 occurred at two different timings.
And the 3 طلاق(divorces) whether are issued in one gathering, at one time, in 1 utterance or on separate occasions, these are considered 3 طلاق(divorces) by جمہورعلماء(masses of scholars), not 1. There is consensus about it among the جمہورعلماء(masses of scholars) and the ائمہ اربعہ(4 Imaams).
قال تعالی:فان طلقھا فلا تحل لہ من بعد حتی تنکح زوجاًغیرہ (القرآن سورہ بقرہ)
اخبرنا سلیمان بن دائود عن ابن وھب قال اخبرنا عن ابیہ قال سمعت محمود بن لبید قال اخبرہ رسول اللہ صلی اللہ علیہ و سلم عن رجل طلق امرأۃ ثلث تطلیقات جمیعا فقام غضبان ثم قال ایلعب بکتاب اللہ و انا بین اظھرکم حتی قام رجل و قال یا رسول اللہ الا اقتله (فتاوی رحیمیہ ج 4، ص 402 بحوالہ نسائی و مشکوۃ شریف)
عن ابن شہاب عن سھل بن سعد فی ھذا الخبر قال فطلقھا ثلاث تطلیقات عند رسول اللہ صلی اللہ علیہ و سلم فانفذہ رسول اللہ صلی اللہ علیہ و سلم (فتاوی رحیمیہ، ص 406 بحوالہ ابو دائودشریف)
Hazrat ‘Uwaimar ‘Ajlani issued 3 طلاق(divorces) to his wife in front of Rasool S.A.W. and Rasool S.A.W. enforced the 3 طلاق(divorces) [didn’t declare 3 طلاقas 1].
It is in عینی شرح بخاری:
و مذھب جماھیر العلماء من التابعین و من بعدھم منھم الاوزاعی والنخعی والثوری و ابو حنیفہ رحمة اللہ علیھم و اصحابه و مالک و اصحابه و الشافعی و اصحابه و اسحاق و ابو ثور و ابو عبید و آخرون و کثیرون علی ان من طلق امرأۃ ثلاثا وقعن ولكنه یاثم و قالوا من خالف فيه فھو شاذ مخالف لا ھل علیالسنهو انما تعلق به اھل البدعة و من لا یلتفت الیه لشذوذہ عن الجماعة (فتاوی رحیمیہ ج 4، ص 438)
So except اہل حدیث (Ahl e Hadith) no one is convinced that the 3 طلاق(divorces) are 1, therefore, your wife in the light of Qur’an and Hadith, getting divorced with the 3 طلاق(divorces) has become حرام(Haraam) on you. The relationships you developed with your wife considering 3 طلاق(divorces) to be 1 were حرام(Haraam)،therefore you both should do توبہ و استغفار(seek forgiveness and Repent).