Monday | 24 February 2020 | 30 Jamadiul-Thani 1441
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Fatwa Answer

Question ID: 836 Category: Knowledge
Financially Helping Brother

Asak,

Hope you all are doing good by the mercy of Allah swt. I have some issues with my elder brother.
He is one year older than me and lives in India and I live in USA. He has wife and 2 kids.
 
I would like to give little bit background of my elder brother, since childhood he never has interest in studies due to this he never got his high level studies done. i think he stopped studying in 10th class. Since then he learned some technical skills. MashaAllah he has good skills in that.
 
If he get employed with that skills to any construction company in India itself he will easily make 25,000 to 30,000 rupees or more. But due to his own ego and laziness he dont want to work under any other person. as he always said (mein kisi ki ghulami karna nai pasand karton). My father made him to go Dubai but he didn't settled there even.
 
He does his own things in India and make about 5,000 to 10,000 rupees a month. but this money is not sufficient for his family expenses. 
 
Due to his condition I am helping him in his monthly and major medical expenses.
So I am sending 10,000 rupees every month to him and few years back he got heart attack and I bear all that expenses Alhamdulilah.
 
The issue is now he is expecting a lot from me . He is saying he wants to come to USA and study whereas he is not at all eligible to study here and he wants me to bear all his study expenses.this is one example and there are may other things he is demanding. My father is also lives with me and he is very sick, now he wants to see him but there main intention to settle down in USA illegally. 
 
They always said "Allah diya help karna support karna". "Bhai ki madat karna farz hai". they also give some Hadiths references. I told them whatever help I can do i am doing it. I too also have other responsibilities. I also have family.
 
My Questions:
 
1) Mufti sahab I am confused now. Am I doing anything wrong anywhere, am i not fulfilling the    rights of my brother?
 
2) Is it obligatory upon me to help them whatever they asked for?
 
3) What are the things which breaks the ties of Kinship?
 
4) what Dua should I make to build strong ties?
 
 
 
 
JazakaAllah Khaier
 

 

الجواب وبالله التوفيق

1- If your brother is really disabled then you should help him as much as you can within the limits of your financial means, it will constitute sila-rehmi(the quality of helping one’s family members) and you will also get the reward for helping a disabled person. However as per the description of your question, it seems like your brother is capable of earning and is skillful as well, you can advise him to work according to his capabilities. Unnecessarily asking from others has been reprimanded in the hadithofRasulullah Sallallaho Alyhi Wasallam. It has been mentioned in a hadithof Rasulullah Sallallaho Alyhi Wasallamin Tirmadhi Sharifnarrated by Hazrat Abdullah Bin Masoodthat Rasulullah Sallallaho Alyhi Wasallamhas said that if a person who has enough for his dwelling and living expenses yet he asks others for help, that question will appear as a stab mark on his face on the day of judgement. Therefore one should never ask for help unless it is absolutely necessary. You should give your brother advice in the best and softest manner to convey this message.

 

2- You are liable for helping him according to your financial means, it is not necessary to fulfill your brother’s demands especially when he himself is capable of working. His demand is in order to fulfill his wishes instead of his needs or necessities. It appears that his income is enough for fulfilling his basic needs and necessities. You can help him in order to fulfill any of his basic needs rather than helping with each of his demands and wishes.

 

3- Nonfulfillment of the just rights that the Islamic Shari‘ah has made mandatory upon you will lead to qata-rehmi(breaking ties with one’s family members).

 

4- You should make dua regularly after every salah. After isha salah you should read  Ya-Latifu Ya-Wadudu Ya-Wahabu111 times.

 

واللہ اعلم  بالصواب