What if a husband swears upon Quran that he did not say that “I divorce you” and wife thinks that she heard him say it.
Assalamu alaikum Mufti sahab. Me and my husband were having an argument over something and it was not even anything big. At one point, I said, I don’t understand you, and he said, ok if you don’t understand me then, “I divorce you, main tumhe talaq deta hoon, this marriage is finished.” At that moment, I didn’t even realize what he just had said, may be due to the fact that it was not even a big fight and I couldn’t have imagined him saying this over such a candid discussion. After a little while, when he left the house in good mood, I went over the discussion in my head and realized what he just said. I called him and asked him that does he realize what he just said. And he told me that no, he did not say those words. He said, that he said “if you don’t understand me then may be I should divorce you, tumhe talaq chaiye, you want to finish this marriage.” We went over it many times and each time he kept saying the same thing and finally I asked him to swear upon Quran about it. Which he did. At that time, I gave up and believed him, thinking that I have left the matter to Allah and what else could be more than Quran to swear upon. Another reason could be that may be I wanted to believe him and give myself false hope. But, later on I kept having this doubt, that what if he lied upon Quran. People do that. Anyways, ever since then, I feel guilty and I feel like I am committing a sin. There is like this knot in my heart which bothers me all the time. It has been more than a year since it happened. My question is, what should I do? Should I believe him or should I leave the matter to Allah since he has sweared upon Quran? I have asked about this problem to the Shariah board at that time and it has been more than a year and never got an answer. Whenever, I talk to my husband about it, he gets really mad and says that I have told you so many times, and you are saying this because you probably want a divorce and you want to get out of this marriage. We have been married for 18 years with lots of ups and downs and have 3 kids, ages ranging from 17 years to 8 years old. He has divorced me once about 13 years ago and acknowledge that one.
Kindly, advice me as soon as possible. I am very disturbed these days.
الجواب وبالله التوفيق
As-Salām ‘Alaykum Waraḥmatullāh Wabarakātuh,
In the query, you have mentioned that the husband is certain that he said, “If you don’t understand me then maybe I should divorce you, tumhe talaq chaiye, you want to finish this marriage.” These words do not constitute as a ṭalāq.
في المحيط لو قال بالعربية أطلق لا يكون طلاقا إلا إذا غلب استعماله للحال فيكون طلاقا وفي إيمان مجموع النوازل سئل نجم الدين عن امرأة قالت لزوجها من بر تو سه طلاقه أم فقال الزوج هلا هل تطلق ثلاثا قال لا إلا أن ينويها ولو قالت لزوجها حلال خدا بر توحرام فقال آري حرمت عليه بتطليقة سئل نجم الدين عن رجل قال لامرأته اذهبي إلى بيت أمك فقالت طلاق ده تابروم فقال تو برو من طلاق دمادم فرستم قال لا تطلق لأنه وعد كذا في الخلاصة - الفتاوى الهندية (1/384) رشيدية
The wife is uncertain and thinks that the husband said, “Ok if you don’t understand me, then I divorce you, main tumhe talaq deta hoon, this marriage is finished.
شك هل طلق أم لا لم يقع ، شك أنه طلق واحدة أو أكثر بنى على الأقل كما ذكره الإسبيجابي إلا أن يستيقن بالأكثر أو يكون أكبر ظنه على خلافه – الاشباه والنظائر ص 67 دار الفكر
Since this is a doubt and not certainty, the doubt will not be taken into consideration. The marriage is still intact and no ṭalāqs have occurred.
And Allah Knows Best