بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم

الجواب و باللہ التوفیق:

Marriage is an important and delicate relationship, once this relationship is established, it is very easy to break, but it is very difficult to maintain it. The evils within our soul and those of the Satan leave no stone unturned to break this blessed relationship. 

The real test and trial are in keeping this relationship intact. And this is indeed the moment of showing one’s good conduct. Therefore, if things happen unpleasantly in married life, it does not mean that the married couple should become entangled in those. Rather, they should end their grudges, fights and quarrels and be kind to each other and have good moralistic and ethical behaviors, and each should exercise patience and tolerance. Only then the married life evolves its real fruits, becomes a source of happiness in this world and the hereafter. 

Spouses should treat each with trust, dignity, and respect. The husbands are especially commanded to treat their wives well. And he (SAW) said that: “the best of you is the one who has good morals”. And for women, he (SAW) said that: “the best woman is the one who prays five times a day, fasts in the month of Ramadan, safeguards her chastity, and obeys her husband in lawful matters. It will be said about such a woman on the Day of Resurrection that she can enter Paradise through any door she wants”. 

In another Prophetic tradition, it is said that: “when the husband comes home, she should give him a smile, protect his property and his honor in his absence”. 

Therefore, live a life by being forgiving and considerate of each other's moods. Avoid bringing up repeatedly the faults and mistakes especially those which have already been talked about and were forgiven and settled. That is considered an immoral behavior. 

Another Blessed Hadith mentions that: “whoever blames someone for his past sins, he will not die until he has committed that same sin himself. 

Cursing others is not permissible in Islam at all. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) explained that: “one of the reasons why women often go to hell is that they often curse and are ungrateful to their husbands”. 

To ensure their successful education and proper upbringing, it is imperative that such matters of conflict are carefully shielded from their children. It will be the parents who will bear those consequences later, hence try to control emotions of displeasure and rage.  

If it is difficult to pull along despite the sincere efforts, Shariah has laid out precise rules to deal in those situations, whereby the spouses can end their marriage in a good and respectable manner. And for that it is suggested that they both approach the Shariah Board of America directly for counseling and to resolve this issue

عَنْ خَالِدِ بْنِ مَعْدَانَ عَنْ مُعَاذٍ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ - صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: مَنْ عَيَّرَ أَيْ: وَبَّخَ وَلَامَ (أَخَاهُ بِذَنْبٍ) أَيْ: صَدَرَ مِنْهُ سَابِقًا أَوْ عَلَى طَرِيقِ الشَّمَاتَةِ (لَمْ يَمُتْ حَتَّى يَعْمَلَهُ) أَيْ: مِثْلَ ذَنْبِهِ (يَعْنِي) أَيْ: يُرِيدُ النَّبِيُّ - صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - التَّعْيِيرَ (مِنْ ذَنْبٍ قَدْ تَابَ مِنْهُ) . قَالَ مِيرَكُ: هَذَا التَّفْسِيرُ مَنْقُولٌ عَنِ الْإِمَامِ أَحْمَدَ. رَوَاهُ التِّرْمِذِيُّ. وَقَالَ: هَذَا حَدِيثٌ غَرِيبٌ ۔مرقاۃ المفاتیح شرح مشکوۃ المصابیح ،کتاب الآداب، باب فحظ اللسان و الغیبۃ و الشتم، 7/3048 المکتبۃ الشاملہ

عَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ الْخُدْرِيِّ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ ۔۔۔خَرَجَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ في أضحى أو فطر إلى الْمُصَلَّى، ثُمَّ انْصَرَفَ، فَوَعَظَ النَّاسَ وَأَمَرَهُمْ بِالصَّدَقَةِ، فَقَالَ: (أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ، تَصَدَّقُوا). فَمَرَّ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ فَقَالَ: (يَا مَعْشَرَ النِّسَاءِ تَصَدَّقْنَ، فَإِنِّي رَأَيْتُكُنَّ أَكْثَرَ أَهْلِ النَّارِ). فَقُلْنَ: وَبِمَ ذَلِكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ؟ قَالَ (تُكْثِرْنَ اللَّعْنَ، وَتَكْفُرْنَ الْعَشِيرَ۔ صحیح البخاری کتاب الزکوۃ 43 باب الزکوۃ علی الاقارب 2/531 حدیث نمبر 1393   المکتبۃ الشاملہ

عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ عَوْفٍ، قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: " إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَةُ خَمْسَهَا، وَصَامَتْ شَهْرَهَا، وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَهَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَهَا قِيلَ لَهَا: ادْخُلِي الْجَنَّةَ مِنْ أَيِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ شِئْتِ۔ مسند احمد  3/199 المکتبۃ الشاملہ

قال اللہ تعالی: وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَا إِن يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا۔ النساء 35

عَنِ ‌ابْنِ عُمَرَ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: «أَبْغَضُ الْحَلَالِ إِلَى اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ الطَّلَاقُ۔ سنن ابی داود کتاب الطلاق   باب فی کراھیۃ الطلاق 2/220 حدیث نمبر 2178 المکتبۃ الشاملہ

وَفِي الْقُهُسْتَانِيِّ عَنْ شَرْحِ الطَّحَاوِيِّ: السُّنَّةُ إذَا وَقَعَ بَيْنَ الزَّوْجَيْنِ اخْتِلَافٌ أَنْ يَجْتَمِعَ أَهْلُهُمَا لِيُصْلِحُوا بَيْنَهُمَا، فَإِنْ لَمْ يَصْطَلِحَا جَازَ الطَّلَاقُ وَالْخُلْعُ. اهـ. ط، وَهَذَا هُوَ الْحُكْمُ الْمَذْكُورُ فِي الْآيَةِ، وَقَدْ أَوْضَحَ الْكَلَامَ عَلَيْهِ فِي الْفَتْحِ آخِرَ الْبَابِ۔ رد المحتار باب الخلع 3/441 المکتبۃ الشاملہ

فقط واللہ اعلم واتم